It's been a terrifying few weeks. The countdown to my stay at Digital Boomerang has not only begun, but has been reduced to a mere handful of days, and a tightness in my chest. For someone who hasn't stayed longer than 2 years in any given place, I had managed to double that stay for nearly 4.
What can I say? I was enjoying myself. I'm going to miss the place and the people that make it.
I'm not sure what's to come beyond the next month, and the uncertainty of my position is nothing less than terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. I've come to enjoy the trappings of my adult life, and have used them to warmly wrap myself. I've come to count on my routines; my room, my bed, my bills, the dread of laundry and delight of my evening scotch.
But that's what happens when you prioritise rent and routine. Time flies, and you realise that your priorities actually aren't your priorities, are they? Your skills aren't exactly the skills you crave. Your accomplishments could be so much MORE.
I had put it off for years, and now it's finally happened: I'm going to seek illustration out and firmly plant it into my life. I'm going to seize it, tell stories and prioritise this drive above all else.
What's going to change? I have no idea. Sometimes I feel like I'm at the mercy of the universe (See? Sheer terror.) If anything, I realised that I needed this change to jumpstart my bones out of complacency.
I just hope I've cobbled together a life and character strong enough to keep up with the deluge of change and things to come. I do love my scotch.